On Personas and Long Absences

Whether you are reading this because I was not removed from a blogroll or feed (whether due to forgetting or faith in my blog), or because of new initiative on my part to revitalize this blog, welcome or welcome back to Straw Fellow's Field. My life has recently been through some hectic times for me, and as of now it has both steadied and become more hectic. As of yesterday I am no longer a part of ForceJunkies through my own choice. They are a fantastic website and I wish the Rerollz network the best in everything they pursue, but I no longer play The Old Republic and no longer have the time to keep myself up to speed on it.

Due to new employment, my schedule has steadied and this blog has always been in the back of my mind. I stopped writing because it became a chore to keep it up alongside my ForceJunkies work and I apologize to all of my readers who I have disappointed. I will make no promises, but I sincerely wish to rejoin the community I enjoyed so much last year.

When I first created this blog, I created the persona "Straw Fellow" both as a means to keep my identity safe and separate the part of my life that had a passion for gaming from the everyday. Almost every game forces you to do this in some way, whether it be under the guise of Marcus Fenix or a character of your own creation. You could say it is a bit of a habit for us all. Nils, Tobold, Syncaine, Gevlon and many others all chose new names and identities to signify their entry into a different world. How much thought went into each name as well as any potential meaning behind it is irrelevant: They were setting their passion for writing about games into a separate area of their lives in a very neat package with a title.

I know for a fact that Tobold has openly stated the reasons he doesn't release his true identity, and I feel that Nils has at some point as well, though I can't be sure. I may be thinking of another blogger. My own reasons were due to a very recently recognized sense of shame. It is not a secret that having a passion for something that is commonly seen as toys for children can bring some weird looks at best, and at worst being outright shunned. That may be a bit dramatic of an explanation, but the point is made: I've never felt my passion has been respected very much.

With that, I've decided I no longer like having a persona. My passion for games is not just an enjoyment of the titles, but of examining game features, discussing trends in the industry and immersing myself in rich, well-written and designed worlds. It is a part of who I am, and not something I want to put in a box to be pushed aside when it is given odd looks. I want it to be a recognizable part of my life.

And with that, I say hello. My name is Justin Puik. It's nice to meet you.